11 Reasons Why a Unicorn is the Better Partner
Unicorns are the superior beings. That has been known for a long time.
But why do so many people still choose human partners?
Wouldn’t a unicorn be the better choice? We have gathered 11 reasons why a unicorn is the better partner.
Magical Fragrance, Endless Endurance, and Healing Powers as the Perfect Everyday Gift
1. Unicorns Always Smell Great. With a unicorn as your partner, your entire home will smell like flowers and rainbows. Outdated gym clothes will be a thing of the past. And if your unicorn has had too many beans, all you need to worry about are the many colorful butterflies.
2. Unicorns Can Carry You Anywhere. You can ride on your unicorn’s back for hours through enchanted forests or meadows filled with talking flowers. Your human partner might not even carry you from the sofa to the kitchen when you’re too lazy to grab the bag of chips.
3. Unicorns Have Healing Powers. If you’ve partied a bit too hard, your unicorn can gently touch you with its horn, and your headache will vanish in no time. Compared to that, saying "I think we still have a pill somewhere" hardly seems as effective.
4. Unicorns Defend You with Their Magical Horn. When you inevitably find yourself at the slowest checkout, your unicorn simply nudges the other customers aside. Far better than soothing words from a partner.
No Gifts for In-Laws, No Cleaning for Mom and Dad, More Time for Your Best Friend, No Gossiping with Friends
5. A Unicorn Has No Parents. And therefore, you don’t have any in-laws. One mother and one father are perfectly enough. This means less cleaning before family visits and more time for lounging on the couch.
6. A Unicorn Knows Where the Other Unicorns Are. While a conventional partner might not even believe in unicorns, your unicorn attracts many other magical beings. Before you know it, you’ll be in your living room with a group of unicorns, two mermaids, and a fairy, discussing just how frothy the milk on a Unicorn Latte should be.
7. A Unicorn Doesn’t Gossip About Your Bad Habits. Whether it’s the open toothpaste tube, the ever-fresh food stain on your T-shirt, or the milk that never finds its way back into the fridge, none of these secrets will ever be revealed. Your unicorn knows everything but tells no one.
8. A Unicorn Doesn’t Age. Even when you reach retirement age, your unicorn can still rearrange your furniture every day. Whether it’s a bit further to the left, slightly rotated, or exactly as it was in the beginning, no adjustments are a problem! You will never hear your unicorn say, "I’m not in my twenties anymore" or "My back can’t handle that."
Green Thumb, No Dust on Cups and Cushions, and the Unicorn as the Perfect Excuse for a Weekend Party
9. A Unicorn Takes the Garden Work off Your Hands. Tending to a large garden can be exhausting. Your unicorn only needs to do its business in the garden once a week, and then vibrant flowers and little rainbows will sprout everywhere. Your guests will surely be impressed.
10. A Unicorn Ensures a Dust-Free Home. One-third of arguments among conventional partners stem from household chores. With a unicorn, a cleaning schedule becomes unnecessary. Wherever it goes, it leaves behind plenty of glitter and stardust, resulting in colorful sparkle instead of annoying dust particles.
11. If You Have a Unicorn, You Have a Reason. The excuse "My partner is sick in bed" no longer convinces anyone. Friends only begrudgingly accept it when you leave a party for that reason. But a unicorn? Everyone understands if you wouldn’t want to leave your unicorn alone at home, especially when it sneezes little hearts. With this excuse, you can leave any dull party without any issues.
